Featured Novel: The Shadow Channeler | Chapter 27 ('Just a simple uber w00t shall do it :)') | 03/08/08 | Rated 5 Stars

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Re: Featured Novel: The Shadow Channeler | Chapter 27 ('Just a simple uber w00t shall do it :)') | 03/08/08 | Rated 5 Stars

Post by DQMJ4Ever-NeverPlayedHalo on Sun Apr 13, 2008 7:13 pm

Lol. Dude no prob at all! I'm actually thanking you. Just said, next time ask me. But it's ok, my bad. And thanks alot, actually. You're a good editor. ( you know you are a good editor when you edit everything in site lol )

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Re: Featured Novel: The Shadow Channeler | Chapter 27 ('Just a simple uber w00t shall do it :)') | 03/08/08 | Rated 5 Stars

Post by Digger412 on Sun Apr 13, 2008 7:42 pm

Read chapter 8 and 9, here are some things I saw

(to save space) (also, ... means that the sentence is continued)
Spoiler:



Could my life actually get any worse? Thought Sandarus

to

Could my life actually get any worse? thought Sandarus


He had the urge to cry again, but restraint it

to

He had the urge to cry again, but restrained it


He knew he had several hours to kill until the job was actually done, so he began expecting the cells...

to

He knew he had several hours to kill until the job was actually done, so he began inspecting the cells...


Hell, he could still be in this damn city! Said Sandarus in his head

to

Hell, he could still be in this damn city! said Sandarus in his head

Thats it for the chapter 8, heres 9:

He decided to head for a city named Rilos, one that he had worked at for quite a while a long time ago, was a fairly popular city, not that far off from the fame of Dreadnar

to

He decided to head for a city named Rilos, one that he had worked at for quite a while a long time ago. It was a fairly popular city, not that far off from the fame of Dreadnar


Rumor had it, that Rilos would one day surpass Dreadnar in popularity.

to

Rumor had it that Rilos would one day surpass Dreadnar in popularity.


Because of that and many other reasons, included its fish trade...

to

Because of that and many other reasons, including its fish trade...


He continued to walk; yawning lazily...

to

He continued to walk, yawning lazily...


The sooner I get there, he thought, the sooner this'll endless boredom stop.

to

The sooner I get there, he thought, the sooner this endless boredom will stop.


Hog then chose that moment to ask.

to

Hog then chose that moment to act.


Hog made a Pssting sound with his mouth.

to

Hog made a "pssting" sound with his mouth.


"Fagnis" Said the man...

to

"Fagnis", said the man...


The other swords then hit him, one in his neck, one in his stomach, and one missing its' target.

to

The other swords then hit him, one in his neck, one in his stomach, and one missing its target.

Those are all I saw at the moment. Also, thanks. I haven't edited everything, the Secrets of the Twilight I haven't gotten to yet. I love to read, so it should be no problem, editing everything =P. Well, until there are 500 or so stories on here...

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Chapter 10-done!

Post by DQMJ4Ever-NeverPlayedHalo on Sun Apr 13, 2008 7:55 pm

Jesus christ... Like I'm gonna spend all the time fixing those mistakes...I don't have time for that... It'll take so long! Anyway, I'll fix a few, but I'll leave the minor ones, as I find searching threw a text for an hour is a bit boring Suspect Thanks anyway, though. Anyway all, chapter 10 might be out today woo!

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The Shadow Channeler | Chapter 10 | 4/13/08

Post by DQMJ4Ever-NeverPlayedHalo on Sun Apr 13, 2008 8:26 pm

Wow! Guess what guys? In a remarkable turn of events, I just wrote 3 chapters in one day! That's right! Chapter 10 is out! And it introduces a new character Shocked wo! awesome! Yeh Cool So hurry an read, cause you won't regret it Twisted Evil Twisted Evil Twisted Evil Twisted Evil Twisted Evil Twisted Evil Twisted Evil Twisted Evil Twisted Evil Twisted Evil Twisted Evil Twisted Evil Anyway, That is probably the last chapter I give in today (although you never know O.o) so I hope you all enjoy it. Here it is study :
Spoiler:



Chapter 10





Hazul moved along the country side, trying to take his mind
off the city he had left. Dawn approached slowly, as if it was reluctant to
make an appearance after the night’s marvelous performance. When it did come,
Hazul smiled at all the beautiful, early morning sounds. In the city, you’d
never hear such tranquility. The sound of a flowing stream, so beautiful,
endless, peaceful. It almost brought tears to his eyes. He made his way down a
slopping hill to the stream, and drank to his heart’s content. Then, filling up
the rest of his bottles, and washing a few things here and there, he began to
hum a tune. He couldn’t put his finger on where exactly he had heard the tune,
he just knew it. He kept humming it, surprised himself on how marvelous it was.
It was peaceful and hyper at the same time. It was dark and light, happy and
sad. Bitter and sweet. He made his way back up the cliff, with a fair amount of
difficulty, then continued on the rough rocky road. He was going to leave the
continent, he decided. Off, to another place, another continent, another world.
New hope and a new life. No more troubles to worry about. Well, he reminded himself, at
least not about not enough funding for anything or something like that.
He
yawned and stretched his arms out wide, thinking about what he could do to pass
the time. He began to hum the same song again, still amazed that he knew it,
yet didn’t know exactly where it was from. He thought as hard as he could,
until he was red in the face, (resembling a cherry with a beard) but still
couldn’t place his finger on it. How frustrated he was! Almost out of revenge,
he stopped singing the song, and tried to focus on traveling. But, a few
moments later, it was either in his head, or he found himself humming it under
his breath again. Infuriated, he shoved it out of his brain, and started
singing other songs, almost yelling. “JERRY THE GIANT WAS OH SO MARRY, BUT NO
ONE LIKED HIM BECAUSE OH, WAS HE HAIRY! IF HE STEPPED ON A FOLK, THEY DIDN’T
CARE, BECAUSE THEY KNEW ABOUT HIS SIZE AND THEY WERE FAIR!” But, eventually the song over lapped that one,
and it was back again. Eventually, he just gave in, and continued to hum the
song. After a while, a wave of guilt and sadness washed over him. He finally
realized where that song was from. It was the song that his mother had sung to
him so many years ago. He stopped, collapsed on the floor, and put his head in
his hands. How could he have forgotten about something like that? And when he
heard it…so much anger, frustration. Did he miss his parents that much? Even
after all they had done to him? Well, I
shouldn’t,
said Hazul suddenly, Why in the name of Drake should I care? Those
Fagnis didn’t care about him after he was barely a toddler.
Still, he
couldn’t stop feeling horrible. He got up, and continued on his way. Nothing
could cheer him up. He tried humming his mother’s song, but now it seemed that
he had forgotten the tune.








It’s now time to introduce a new character in the story. He
has been mentioned before, but very lightly.
King Regius was in his late fifties, but looked much older than his actually
age. He was the ruler of the land of Oriniutum, but, he was in no way content
with this highly satisfying job. Everyone thought being a king was easy. And it
was. Well, until something went wrong. Then it was pure horror. Everything you
did made a difference, and if you made a mistake, then, well, it’s completely
your fault. If someone else made a
mistake, oh, well, it’s not their fault! They didn’t mean it! Leave them alone!
Regius was fine with that part. That was the way his job was. He couldn’t
change that. That was not his problem. The problem was that the city of
Dreadnar was now in an uproar, and he could do little about it. Apparently, a
man, named Zuthis, got into a fight with his son, killed him, then was sent to
jail. He tried to escape, almost succeeded, then, was caught again, and was
trapped in a jail cell, until the leader of the Elite Guard Captain (he couldn’t
remember the man’s name for the life of him) went to visit him, and killed him
for no apparent reason! Then, the man refused that he did this, said that the
prisoner killed himself, and that was that! Regius didn’t know what the hell to
believe now, and, as if that hell hole wasn’t enough, now that Sfickus (Sfickus
is a word from the ancient language, Sicklus,
meaning an ugly man, with no hope. It was been corrupt into the word Sfickus, a
noun used to call people an in-appropriate word.) has disappeared without a
trace! The whole damn city has been searched! He’s gone! Not only that, he just realized. The previous day, he had been informed
that a man at the prison had died. He had brushed it off. Why, in the name of
Dread, should he care? He just realized now who the man was. He was the
previous Elite Guards Captain. Infuriated at this new problem, Regius swung his
hand at the glass of wine, knocking it over and permanently staining the
carpet. The servants quickly fluttered around the stain, sighing, some crying,
some asking him what was wrong. He ignored them all. He sighed, and leaned his
face on his knuckle. He tried to sort out his problems, thinking about what he
could do to solve all these problems. Nothing. He sighed again. He’d have to
continue the search for the missing captain, hold a funeral for his son, and
get a god damn message for his back. Every year seemed to get harder with this
job. Nothing easier. Never easier. He caught himself drifting to sleep, and
quickly woke himself up. Napping on the
throne won’t exactly help your reputation,
thought he king to himself. To
sort through this, he was going to need a hell of a lot more intelligence and
cunning then he ever had, or ever will have. He suddenly got up, and made his
way to the Council of the city, with a quick and determined pace. His son was
dead, the city demanding justice, and he was sure as hell he wasn’t getting any
younger.








The man in the black cloak gave up
finally with a sigh. There is no one in
this city!
He yelled at himself, why
do I stay here? Because you’re scared to leave the sanctity of your own home;
you’re scared to leave safe guard. You know you’re immune here. You won’t be
outside of this city,
he answered himself. Sighing, he decided he’d leave
here. What he was looking for just plain wasn’t here. He knew it. He was
instantly ready to leave. He had no belongings, except his personal
bone-dagger, and his own ability to cast deadly spells. Already walking to the
outskirts of the town, he was disgusted at himself on how much time he had
wasted in this city. He was determined to find what he was looking for, even if
he had to travel to the ends of the earth. Well,
technically, the world doesn’t
have an
end,
he said to himself, Bu- His
thoughts were interrupted when he arrived at the gate. He gave the custom information,
and walked out of the city. He’d be back, he knew he would. He just didn’t know
when. Gathering his thoughts, he stamped his foot three times, then said “Levitias
Vitenus” Suddenly, he slowly rose from the air. Smiling, he moved his arm
right. He moved right. Same with his left arm. He loved this spell. He tried to
avoid moving frontward, because, honestly, what idiot would put two hands in
front of him to fly? He’d look just plain stupid. Having no choice though, he
took a moment to modify the spell. Sticking his head forward and his hands in
back of him, he flew towards the horizon, leaving a downright stunned and baffled city
gate guard to ponder what the hell had just happened.














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Re: Featured Novel: The Shadow Channeler | Chapter 27 ('Just a simple uber w00t shall do it :)') | 03/08/08 | Rated 5 Stars

Post by Digger412 on Mon Apr 14, 2008 9:39 pm

DQM, I could just go in and fix the edits myself. I know where they are, and I wrote them in chronological order. I could get them done in 10 mins, if you'd approve.

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Re: Featured Novel: The Shadow Channeler | Chapter 27 ('Just a simple uber w00t shall do it :)') | 03/08/08 | Rated 5 Stars

Post by DQMJ4Ever-NeverPlayedHalo on Mon Apr 14, 2008 9:45 pm

Naw , dude. I mean, I'd LOVE it if you WANT to, but I don't wanna be a slave driver or anything, or look like I'm too lazy (well I am but that's besides the point, Laughing ) to do it myself. Like I said, if you really don't mind, if you are willing to do it at your own free will, then go ahead, cause I'd really appreciate it. Thanks alot, but I repeat, don't do it if you don't want to. By the way, just wanted to tell everyone, that I might not publish a chapter today, because I'm busy ( playing brawl Shocked ) And because I just pubilshed 3 yesterday. Also, you can call me Never, or Halo. Dqm sounds stupid xD.

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Re: Featured Novel: The Shadow Channeler | Chapter 27 ('Just a simple uber w00t shall do it :)') | 03/08/08 | Rated 5 Stars

Post by Digger412 on Mon Apr 14, 2008 10:13 pm

Okay, but it's fine. I like reading, and editing is just something that comes naturally. I actually do like doing it (not a clue why...). I'll go back and fix the stuff, it's nothing big. I can read through a 371 page book in 7 1/2 hours, so it'll be done soon..

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Re: Featured Novel: The Shadow Channeler | Chapter 27 ('Just a simple uber w00t shall do it :)') | 03/08/08 | Rated 5 Stars

Post by Digger412 on Mon Apr 14, 2008 10:26 pm

Finished, Halo.

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Re: Featured Novel: The Shadow Channeler | Chapter 27 ('Just a simple uber w00t shall do it :)') | 03/08/08 | Rated 5 Stars

Post by kamokronos on Mon Apr 14, 2008 11:07 pm

Really? It takes you that long to read a 371 page book?! Wow, I can read 1200 pages in 8 hours Very Happy.

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I like pie

Post by DQMJ4Ever-NeverPlayedHalo on Mon Apr 14, 2008 11:08 pm

Great thanks a lot digger. By the way, any comments on chapters, any one? Particularily the ones I released the two previous days? I'd appreciate it.

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Re: Featured Novel: The Shadow Channeler | Chapter 27 ('Just a simple uber w00t shall do it :)') | 03/08/08 | Rated 5 Stars

Post by Digger412 on Tue Apr 15, 2008 1:11 am

Np, Halo. Kamo, I did take breaks. I was on the computer for one hour during that time, and I was at dinner for about 30 mins. Also, I went to the bathroom (I take forever) for about another 30 mins. I also played b-ball with my sister for about 20 mins. I was also reading slowly, dad told me to "savor" the book. Lol. I can read about 750 wpm in my head, so I actually read a lot faster.

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The Shadow Channeler | Chapter 11 | 4/16/08

Post by DQMJ4Ever-NeverPlayedHalo on Wed Apr 16, 2008 8:50 pm

HEY ALL HALO HERE! Guess what? What, Halo? Why, Halo, thanks for asking! CHAPTER 11 IS HERE! Woo! Although only a few people actually care that this book exists ( :*( ) I'm happy that it's coming out. And, THIS IS AN IMPORTANT NOTICE PAY ATTENTION! If you know or think you know what is going to happen, DO NOT POST IT HERE! This will result in an immediate delete, as I am a moderator and I will do it myself. You may PM me with what you think will happen, is happening. I won't confirm or decline it, but I'd love if you do, as I think it's interesting, and it may even give me an idea! Thanks all, and here is chapter 11. Click here to read:
Spoiler:



Chapter 11








Sandarus quickly leaped through the
underbrush, running at full speed. He couldn’t be too far away from the man.
His blue cap fluttered wildly everywhere, now full of cuts, creases, and holes.
Emerging onto the road, he began to scan his surroundings. He was somewhere
between Dreadnar and Rilos, he guessed. The man must be heading to that city.
Just a few days ago, he had been in his office, living in pure heaven. Now he was
on a cross-country chase to find a man that could not even be where he thought
he was. The only hard evidence he had that the man was even here was the
remnants of encampment he had seen not too long ago. Even that, though, could
not even be the right person. He hoped to heaven and hell it was, though, as he
looked at his shrinking supply of nourishment. As he continued on the main path
with a brisk pace, he then saw the silhouette of four black figures against the
sun. Quickening his pace, almost to a run, he continued to the spot where the
figures were. He gasped when he saw that the figures were actually bodies. Highwaymen, he thought to himself.
Whoever could have handled these four men must have been a force to be reckoned
with. Hell, Sandarus wasn’t even sure that he
could have taken them all. Looking even closer, he saw the pattern that
they had fallen in. Three in front, one behind, bow in hand. The person who had
done this must have had to dodge the bow, while dealing with three other
swordsmen at the same time. “Amazing…,” muttered Sandarus, glancing at the
bodies once more. “Well,” he said to himself, “There’s no reason to leave these
busy men here…,” With a grunt of effort under the dead-weight of the bodies, he
hauled them- one by one –down to the edge of the forest, dropping them
successfully out of sight. Then, almost as if Sandarus hadn’t just hidden four
murdered men into the bushes, he continued on his way, not disturbed
what-so-ever. He knew about highwaymen. Just useless sfickus that rob poor
travelers on their journeys, usually not leaving the prey alive. This time it’s the other way around, said
Sandarus, with a lazy smile and a glance over his shoulder. As he continued
walking, he recalled something about the man he was following. He did have a hastily casted picture of
him, by the mages (a new and very popular technology in the land of Oriniutum
was a spell that mages have recently developed. They see the person who
requested the spell, remember their face, and cast a spell on a scroll, leaving
a rather stunning imprint of the desired person. Many people love this spell,
and it has also many useful ways of fitting itself in the guard’s duties) who
had seen Hog once before they had escorted the prisoner to his cell. It had
been quite a while, but their trained memory, combined with eye-witness
accounts, gave him a fairly accurate picture. The problem was, it was only the picture. Not the whole body,
only his face. He could be three foot one. Hell, he could be six and a half
feet tall. Luckily, he remembered seeing the man as they escorted the prisoner.
A giant of a man he was. Being at least six foot, probably taller, he wore a
tough armor that probably couldn’t be easily penetrated by any sword. He must
be ahead. How fast could a man of his stature move so quickly? As he kept
walking, he noticed that the sun was already setting. The sun set was a bright
red. Sandarus tried his best to ignore the fact that it was the same shade of
red as Falcun’s cloak.





Hog looked around at the sun set,
and a frown crossed his face. Night was annoying, a time where he could get
easily ambushed. Trying to get his bearings for the last time for quite a few
hours, he looked farther ahead of him. The distant line of a city stretched out
in front of him. Not much further. As he kept walking, determined to move as much
as possible before dark, something appeared, moving down the road fast. It
seemed to be a caravan. Many merchants traveled these roads, selling their
goods, usually swords and nourishment, to the travelers they meet. And yet, they still don’t notice how many
times they get robbed,
thought Hog to himself with a smile. As he
approached the caravan, he let out a silent gasp. What he saw was not a
caravan. Hell, it wasn’t even close to
one. What he saw was a line of men, all in black capes, moving towards him with
stunning speed. Hogar looked straight at them, mouth hanging open. Who in the
name of Dread were they? Then, suddenly, Hog realized the similarity of these
men and the ones that had jumped him. He could handle four. He couldn’t handle
forty. Doing a double-take, Hog ran across the path, jumping into the thick
forest bushes. Moving slowly, he waded towards the inside of the forest, aware
of the dangers that lurked there at night. Keeping a hand on his sword, he
moved much deeper, losing sight of the path, and then continued to moving forward.
Well, at least he thought he was
going forward. Suddenly, Hogar began to hear a low buzzing. Then, it grew
steadily louder, as if some kind of bug was hovering somewhere close to him. He
wondered what it could be, trying to think of any forest dweller that could be connected
to that sound. Drawing a blank, he sighed and tried to ignore it, to no such
luck. Suddenly, he had the feeling that something was behind him. He drew his
swords, ready for the men in black capes determined to fight to the death if necessary.
The trees may give him an advantage. Then again, they could actually hurt his
chances. When he turned around, it was as if time stopped. Nothing was there.
Then, a whirlwind of bright red. A stabbing pain in his head. Then darkness.





The man slowly lifted up the man,
not looking down at his face. It didn’t
matter who he was. He was clearly trespassing and would be disposed of. He
carried the man, with surprising ease, to his clearing where he had set up
camp. Tying him to a tree, the man sat down and tried to focus on finishing his
meal. There was no fun in disposing of a man if he was knocked out. The true
sport came if he was awake. He didn’t want to exactly kill the man, but he had
surpassed that choice after he had chosen to knock him out. Back facing the
rather large man, he finished his meal and waited patiently for the man to wake
up. An hour or two later, he heard a groan and a ruffle, then turned around.





Hog suddenly had the feeling of
being trapped. He moved his hands. Nothing. His arms. Nothing. His legs and
feet. Nothing. All were incapable of moving. Where the hell was he? What was he
doing here? Why wasn’t he at his house with Zuthis? Then, like rushing water in
a dry creek, it all came back to him. Grunting, he slowly opened his eyes. He
was in a camp, with a man in a bright red cloak sitting on the dirt, back
facing him. Hog decided to take his chances. He sure as Dread wasn’t a
highwayman, at least not a normal one, anyway. Faking a grunt of awakening, he
started to struggle with his bonds. The man turned around, and walked to the
man. He came face to face with him, then the man’s eyes practically bulged out
of his sockets. “Hog?” he said, voice
full of disbelief and shock. Hogar’s face twisted in confusion. The man quickly
recovered. “HOG! FILTHY PIG!” he
repeated, slapping Hog squarely across the face. It stung harshly. “What a
Fagnis you are, eh? Trying to sneak into my camp?” the man then sat down, this
time facing him, and a smile crossed his face. “Oh yes, trespassers aren’t
accepted in my camp. They are severely punished.” The man got up again, and
began to say something, but was cut off. A whistle of an arrow flew inches away
from the man’s nose, and then another one. And another one. From all
directions! Overwhelmed by the chaos the man frantically whipped around, shooting
lightning bolts everywhere. “ELETRICAS! ELETRICAS! E-L-EC-TR-ICA-S!” Fatigued, the man began to frantically move
around, trying to dodge the arrows to his best ability. Regaining his thoughts,
he grabbed a pair of deadly duel blades from his belt, and ran at full speed
into the darkness. Then, Hog felt hands undoing the bonds that held him there. “Shut
the hell up,” said the voice. Hog did as he was told; not knowing what in the
name of King Regius was going on. Hogar noticed that the arrows had stopped. Hog
hoped to Dreadnar that the man had got hit by one of the arrows. He hadn’t. He approached
Hogar once more, this time enraged at the interruption. “What the hell was that?!” yelled the man. The
hands untying Hog’s bonds froze. “Someone is here,” said the man, looking around.
Hog felt the hands start untying the bonds again, this time with a much more
slower and cautious feeling. When both of the ropes were off, Hog didn’t know exactly
what to do. “Don’t move and shut up,” whispered the voice in his ear. There was
his answer. Trying his best to show that
he wasn’t untied, he glared at the man. Then, suddenly, a man in a dark blue
cloak emerged from behind the man, and arrow nocked in his bow. The man in the
red cloak, froze, and turned around. The man in the dark blue cloak froze, and
let loose the arrow while doing so, and would have hit Hog if he would have
been unable to move. Now was the time to act, Hog jumped from behind the man,
and did a full-arm throw. The man went flying into one of the trees, crumpling
to the floor. “LET’S GO!” yelled Hog
at the man. He did not move. Sighing, he tried to pick up the man. “NO!” he
yelled, “NO! DON’T!” The man was frantic, sobbing everywhere. Not knowing what
the hell was going on, Hog looked down at the man. He was getting up. And then,
before Hog could react, he was already on his feet. Not knowing what would
happen next, Hog took charge, and grabbed the man in the blue cloak, and
carried him away like a guitar case. Hogar wondered why the man in the red
cloak did nothing to stop them.





The man in the red cloak looked
around, confused and at a loss. What the hell had just happened? He had been
ambushed from what it looked like to be just one guy, then his prisoner had
escaped! “In the name of Dread! WHAT JUST HAPPENED?” Sighing, he began to pack
away his things. He thought of the man he had caught, and the man’s face. He
had seen him before. He knew who he was. Where? Wasn’t it...Bah, there was no
time for speculations. Picking up his stuff, he began to make his way onto the
path, being sure to take a different route then the way he had took before.




Wasn't that interesting? Yeh I know! Chapter 12 MIGHT be done tommrrow, depending on what happens. By the way, considering there's like 20 people on this sight, and only like 3 have read it, try to tell some one on this site about this book if you know them, as I'd like a few more opinions, k? Thanks alot, all, ( and a pre-thank you to Digger if he edits it lol) Halo out!

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Re: Featured Novel: The Shadow Channeler | Chapter 27 ('Just a simple uber w00t shall do it :)') | 03/08/08 | Rated 5 Stars

Post by Digger412 on Wed Apr 16, 2008 9:48 pm

Good job! I wonder who that new guy is...Oh yeah, I did some editing. Only 7 things though, not a lot. Minor things again. Can't wait for the next one!

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Re: Featured Novel: The Shadow Channeler | Chapter 27 ('Just a simple uber w00t shall do it :)') | 03/08/08 | Rated 5 Stars

Post by DQMJ4Ever-NeverPlayedHalo on Wed Apr 16, 2008 11:01 pm

Ok. I decided to start a new thing. EACH WEEK, once a WEEK, I'll give a hint on the novel. IT WON'T be a spoiler, but just a hint. It shall be limited to 7 words. Here's Halo's hint of the week. The red man isn't new. Re-read chapters. OK WELL THAT'S IT FOR HALOS TIP OF THE WEKK! exacly seven, it's and doesn't are considered one word. Anyway, guys, pay attention to the novel. there are so many obvious hints. And some aren't even hints. Maybe I'll do a locked entry with ONLY entries for chapters, and keep this as a place to chat about it. Tell me what you think

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The Shadow Channeler | Chapter 12 | 4/16/08

Post by DQMJ4Ever-NeverPlayedHalo on Thu Apr 17, 2008 1:01 am

Bloody fregin heck! Stupid site keeps messing up. My posts always get deleted! Anyway, for the second time, Hey Halo here. To make up for no posts on monday, I'm posting too chapters today! WOo! Tell me what you all (Digger and Kamokronos lol...) think! Here it is (almost forgot to post chapter lol) Click here to read:
Spoiler:



Chapter 12








“SILENCE!” Yelled King Regius, when
the hall suddenly rose into a buzz of conversation. The room suddenly fell
silent, save a man who had a rather bad cough. That man was then escorted out
of the room by the royal guards. Sighing and mopping the sweat off his head
with his tissue bearing the royal symbol, the king continued his long and torturous
speech. “And so, the ceremony for my beloved son will be held in exactly a
fortnight. There shall be a grand orchestra playing the most tragic of music, mourners
from all the land, a great king to honor him, and I shall be there too.” The
king paused, waiting for the laughs to fill the room. They didn’t. Sighing once
again, he continued his speech. “After the opening ceremony has begun…,” and it
continued on and on, until the sun was lowering, casting glares in the eyes of
annoying spectators. The crown Regius wore was rather uncomfortable, being made
of pure gold, with glamour being the top priority, preventing headaches of
royal proportions not even on the list. He continued his speech, and suddenly
had the urge to take off his crown and throw it at a rather annoying man who
kept closing his eyes and shaking his head every time he made a joke. Twitching
slightly, the king resisted this urge, stuffing it in the corner of his mind,
and trying to focus on his speech. Regius had a rather strange talent. He could
be talking about anything, even re-telling a story full of gestures and
expressions, and do it perfectly, but, while he was doing that, he was able to
think about something completely different. In most cases; a very useful, interesting
tool. In this case, pure hell. He couldn’t focus on the speech even if he
wanted to, so his mind wandered off, thinking about who knows what, bored as
can be. His long, spider-silk robe fluttered lightly with the draft coming in
through a slightly ajar window. It tickled his ankles. Frustrated, and knowing
that he couldn’t bend down to scratch his ankles and that he couldn’t come and
close the window himself, he was at a loss. Suddenly, he had an idea. He caught
the eyes of several guards, and began making small, compact movements with his
head towards the window. The guards nodded, and began escorting several people
out of the room. They didn’t understand.
IDIOTS! All of them!
Doing it again, the guards nodded, a little more hesitantly
this time, and began escorting most of the people in the room outside. The
people began to complain, and the king started to sweat even more. Finally, a
man was quick enough to catch on. He closed the windows, and with that, the
king flicked his head towards the door. The man nodded, and opened the door,
letting in the people who had been pushed out. Shooting an angry glare at the
other guards, he continued his speech. Fortunately, the escorting had woken up
most of the people in the room, and at least some of them laughed at his jokes.
Finally, finishing his speech, a man approached him. “Here, your majesty. I
noticed you on stage and well…,” he pushed something into his hands and hurried
off. Confused, Regius brought the card up to his face, and began reading. The house of Jamius, for those with head
trauma and the mildly insane.
A furious look on his face, the king ripped
the cards to shreds, and stormed off to his room to prepare his next speech. As
he was walking, he practically collided with another man. He happened to be the
man who had shut the window. “Err, yes, thank you, man, for being quick enough
to catch on. Those other idiots would have escorted me out before they actually caught on.” The man’s eyes glittered,
as if to say, wait until I tell mommy
about this!
“Thank you, sire. It was the least I can do. Have a good night.”
The king felt that the man looked sad. Regius was about to say something, then
walked off, then turned around again. “Excuse me. I forgot to ask your name.”
The man whipped around, and said, “My name is Triken, sire.” His eyes were
positively sparkling. “Well, Triken. Tell the royal guards you have an
appointment with me tomorrow, after the daily meal. We shall discuss your
future. Is that alright with you?” “Of course, sire! Thank you so much!” Triken’s
eyes could have been used to guide lost ships to the shore. He ran off, almost
skipping, happy as can be. “Well, that makes one of us.” growled Regius,
walking off. As he was walking to his chambers, he was approached by several
more healers, all with the same card. By the time he reached his room, he
couldn’t hold it in anymore. He walked quietly to his private kitchen, opened a
pantry, enclosed himself in it, and let out a scream of epic proportions.
Getting that out of his system, he moved calmly to his table, dipped his pen
into the inkwell, and began to write. Dearest
sirs and madams, I have come here today…
So on and so forth. He was
suddenly interrupted by a knock on his door. A man in a white jacket opened his
door. I swear… The man began. “Hello
sir…” If he… “I saw you doing your
speech…” shows this man that… “And I
just wanted you to consider this…” card, I am going to… “I know you’re
probably reluctant, but you should consider it sire. I’m sorry for wasting your
time. The man handed him a white card. Twitching slightly, Regius took the
card, and read it, to make sure. The house
of Jamius, for those with head trauma and the mildly insane.
Nodding and
smiling, Regius looked up and said, “Thank you. Just stay here for a minute
would you?” Regius started rolling up his sleeve. The man in white looked
confused, but stayed there. It was the
king that had ordered him. Bringing back his fist, the man saw what was about
to happen too late. A well aim punch dislodged his jaw from its hinges, and
sent him spiraling into the hallway. The guards came racing down, and looked at
the king in surprise. The older guards, who had been here for many years,
nodded at each other and smiled, saying silently to each other: He’s done it again. The king shrugged,
and told them to put the man in bed, and dent whatever he said, say that he needs
some more rest. The guards nodded, and carried him off. The king sent a silent
thank you to his god, knowing that it was luck and blessing that had prevented
any one from being in the corridor at the time. Moving back into his room, he collapsed
on his chair. Thinking about all that was left to do, Regius sighed. I wish I knew where that man- his name was Sandarus,
wasn’t it? - would tell me where he was,
thought the king. Then he paused,
and added, because I’d pack up and go
there with him.
Suddenly, he had the urge to do something. Once
again, he moved into his kitchen and opened his pantry door. Closing it behind
him, in a loud and happy voice, rubbing his knuckles, he yelled, “DAMN! That felt good!”





Hazul was almost at the tiny outpost
that his city used to transport people from here to Rilos. He could see it way
in the distance, past a few slopping hills. He had decided that he’d pay for
the trip with what little money he had, then make his way through Rilos, making
a few coin there, then maybe move on to Dreadnar, if money and time permitted. The
problem was, he had to make it to the ship without any one he knew- and Drake
take him if he didn’t know almost everyone in the city- and that would be no
easy task. He decided that the best possible solution was to try to avoid
everybody, if possible, and, if not, thinking of a reasonable excuse to would
let him continue. Looking at the long way ahead of his, he decided he had
plenty of time to think of one. While he was thinking to himself, he was not
paying attention to the road, and ended up tripping on a scarab-turtle, also
known as a Scurtle, which sent him tumbling down the slopping path of the
mountain-side he was going down. He got up from the bottom of the path, swearing
furiously, rubbing dirt off his clothes and face. He looked up, and thought happily,
well at least I covered some ground. He
continued this time, making sure to look out for any damn renegade scurtles on
the road. As he continued on his way, he jumped up (quite high) to pluck a
bitter-sweet fruit from a Sparia tree, then popped it into his mouth. The
bitterness didn’t bother him. He was used to it. Hell, most people in his town
ate rocks, and he wasn’t exaggerating.
His people had a particularly stronger mouth, and stones actually tasted quite
good if made correctly. Smiling, Hazul recalled an old saying in his town. Kiss
my asphalt, cook it, chew it, and then swallow it if diet permits. A little
long, but it always gave everyone a good laugh. Sighing, he bent down to pick
up some dust and sand from the path. Hazul let the sand seep through the crack
in his fingers, watching it fall back down to the ground, or get blown away to somewhere
else. Just like me, he thought to
himself with an ironic smile. He looked up again at the outpost, and sighed. It
had barely come closer since the last time he looked. He wondered why his life
was always so dull. Oh sure, running away from a home was exciting. But because
the economy was bad? Hardly a good reason. Well, throw in a fire breathing
dragon, and maybe a savage or two (“Although my city does have lawyers” said Hazul, laughing to himself) and maybe that would be something to brag about.
But this, running away like a coward, telling no one, was hardly what he
wanted. “Then what the hell do you want
me to do?” He yelled at the sky, “Run away, and take the whole god damn city with
me on a bloody ark?” Angry, Hazul strolled down the path at a quicker pace,
being sure to step over the next scurtle that he encountered. Changing
direction on a sharp turn, Hazul turned to look into the forest that was on his
left. Kind of strange it was, walking, with a beautiful view of the ocean on
one side, and a massive jungle on the other. Concentrating hard on the jungle,
he tried to look for something that he could focus on, do something with.
Nothing. Even the damn sounds coming from it seemed silent. What the hell was
his god trying to do? Bored him to death? He had heard such a fate from Hal, also known as He-who-jumped-off-a-cliff-for-fun-and-died-shortly-after,
but he never thought that it would happen to him! Losing count of the times he
had sighed so far, he began to count his steps, then estimated how many until
the outpost. 9 342, 423, 856, 568, 756. 9 342, 423, 856, 568, 755…9 342, 423
,856, 568, 754… he kept counting and counting. Suddenly, he froze. A rustle in
the forest caused him to whip around, sword ready. Something emerged from the
forest. Well, I did say I didn’t want to
be bored to death,
he said grimly to himself, I guess I’ll just get killed. Facing his foe, he understood why the
jungle had been so quiet the last few hours of his travels. Out of the forest,
came a massive, hulking figure, followed by a smell that mage Hazul gag. He had
heard of this things. They were very common in the world of fantasy, something his city called… “A-” A horrifying cry cut through the wilderness,
cutting off Hazul’s sentence. The beast got ready to charge. Hazul took out his
sword, lowered his stance, and got ready for the hardest damn fight in his
life.







Pretty long, eh? Yeh, sorry. I finished Regius, then it was too short, so I added Hazul, and I had to make it reasonable long... anyway, hoped you two (Sad ) liked it, chapter 13 hopefully out tommrow!!


Last edited by Digger412 on Wed Apr 30, 2008 1:41 pm; edited 3 times in total (Reason for editing : Why do you wanna know? leave me alone you stupid box!)

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Re: Featured Novel: The Shadow Channeler | Chapter 27 ('Just a simple uber w00t shall do it :)') | 03/08/08 | Rated 5 Stars

Post by Digger412 on Thu Apr 17, 2008 2:09 am

It's good. I think that I'll have to legnthen what I'm writing, now, lol. Finished the editing, not a lot to do.


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Re: Featured Novel: The Shadow Channeler | Chapter 27 ('Just a simple uber w00t shall do it :)') | 03/08/08 | Rated 5 Stars

Post by DQMJ4Ever-NeverPlayedHalo on Thu Apr 17, 2008 2:13 am

Lol, thanks. And btw, you dont have to say, "I CANT WAIT FOR NEXT ONE!" unless you realy cant, cause I got the feeling you're doing it to make me feel better >_> anyway, That's it, goodnight. And Digger, some books have chapters 2 pages long, lol Once I read a book with 2 chapters on 2 pages ( and YEH! IT WAS CONFUSING!) but either way, don't FORCE yourself to wright more. A hint though; go to another character if you need to wright more. Update his status, and that should do it. Add a few things, like Hazul's time in chapter 12, and there you go! (you owe me money for my services...and if you're reading this, so do you....wait does that mean i owe myself money? Wth? AAAAAAARGH) P.S.: The house
of Jamius, for those with head trauma and the mildly insane.
Laughing lol Regius "DAMN! That felt good!" Very Happy Very Happy Very Happy Very Happy

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Re: Featured Novel: The Shadow Channeler | Chapter 27 ('Just a simple uber w00t shall do it :)') | 03/08/08 | Rated 5 Stars

Post by Digger412 on Thu Apr 17, 2008 11:31 am

No, I really can't wait. The book your writing is right up my reading alley Very Happy . I decided not to write more, forgot how much I already wrote. 7 pages first chapter, 6 or 7 second, and I'm not done with the third, which is 4 atm.

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Re: Featured Novel: The Shadow Channeler | Chapter 27 ('Just a simple uber w00t shall do it :)') | 03/08/08 | Rated 5 Stars

Post by DQMJ4Ever-NeverPlayedHalo on Thu Apr 17, 2008 12:17 pm

Wow, that's kinda huge... it doesn't have to be that big per chapter, but then again, it's the same as if I wrote many small chapters. I think that about 3 pages per chapter is fine. Sometimes, if I am on a roll, I do more, what harm can it do? Anyway, gotaa go to school lol. Bye.


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Re: Featured Novel: The Shadow Channeler | Chapter 27 ('Just a simple uber w00t shall do it :)') | 03/08/08 | Rated 5 Stars

Post by Digger412 on Thu Apr 17, 2008 9:11 pm

Lol, the chapters don't seem that big. Three per page is short to me, I'm used to reading books that are 400+ pages. I consider those easy reading, though..

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Re: Featured Novel: The Shadow Channeler | Chapter 27 ('Just a simple uber w00t shall do it :)') | 03/08/08 | Rated 5 Stars

Post by kamokronos on Thu Apr 17, 2008 10:28 pm

Someone's really into it Very Happy.

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Im bored

Post by DQMJ4Ever-NeverPlayedHalo on Thu Apr 17, 2008 10:37 pm

Yeh, I know. I usually make small chapters because they make a good dramatic ending, especially since my book focuses on many different characters. Anyway, whatever you want, do it! That's it. Bye.

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The Shadow Channeler | Chapter 13 | 4/17/08

Post by DQMJ4Ever-NeverPlayedHalo on Fri Apr 18, 2008 12:30 am

Guess what! Chapter 13 is done! Woot! There is some fighting in this one, along with a few rather interesting spells! It's a little longer then the previous one, but that's no problem, is it Very Happy? Anyway, I hope you two like it. lol. Here it is:
Spoiler:






Chapter 13





The man in the pitch-black cape
continued to speed along the country-side at high speeds, not stopped by any
type of terrain. Hell, I could go on
water if I wanted to,
he thought to himself. The only time when he had to
stop was when he reached the thickness of the jungle. The first time, being
impatient, he had tried flying through it. Rubbing his broken nose, he cursed
himself for being so blind. He had to walk through it, which he knew was nearly
impossible without getting himself killed. As he waded through it as carefully
as he could, he saw a sliver of light shine through the dense forest trees. “An
opening?” he said to himself, surprised. As he made his way towards the
opening, he saw what appeared to be a path. Emerging onto it, he realized what
he had just found. It was the trail from Dreadnar to Rilos. “What luck!” he
said, almost yelling it aloud. He had no previous destination, but now, finding
the path, he decided the only place to go was Rilos. Unless I want to return to Dreadnar, he thought to himself,
bitterly. Ready to cast his flight spell once more, he saw a black line on the
horizon. “Extremitos Visinagrun,” he said. At once, as if he were a hawk, his
eyes zoomed in, making him see almost a mile ahead of him. What he saw
surprised him. A pack of bandits, moving down the street? He ended his spell,
then walked towards the approaching group, not worried in the least. He then
saw the intelligence in their formation. The way they were formed, a perfect
line, prevented anyone from passing them, including merchants and travelers
with valuable items. They had two choices. Try to avoid them, which was
impossible, or go back to where they came from, which they would never do. He
kind of felt sorry for these men. They hardly knew what was coming. Sighing to
himself, he continued on his path. After about an hour, he arrived to their
location. He smiled. A perfect blockade. The men, seeing him, suddenly jumped
up from their sleep, and started to circle him. “Ok, look,” he began to say, “I
figure, there’s about twenty of you. That means the odds are obviously against
you, but I’m willing to spare your lives if you let me g-,” A huge man stepped
out of the circle, and got ready to break the man’s jaw. Sighing and shaking
his head, he stepped aside easily and, almost faster than they could see,
brought out his dagger, and stabbed the man three times in the neck. He fell on
the ground, his last facial expression frozen in a stunned look. That sounded
the alert for the rest of them. They began to draw their weapons. Once again
sighing, he began to cast a special spell he had been waiting to try out. Now
was the time. “Refrigatium Totouchius Ultimatium,” said the man silently. An
unpleasant, yet welcome, sedation began to creep into his hand, then down into
his fingertips. It was cold. The first man in black began to make his move.
Shaking his head, he stepped aside, and lightly tapped the man on the back with
his fingertip. The man stiffened, and fell to the ground, a light coating of
frost coating him. Satisfied, the man began to walk away, almost as if the
other men weren’t there. They moved from his path, not wanting to suffer the
same fate as the other two. Then, they regrouped, probably deciding that if
they all attacked at once, most of them would survive, and he’d be helpless.
Smiling as they began to charge up from behind him, he readied another new
spell he had made. He whipped around; hand outstretched and yelled “CHARGIUS Rhinonicterisaurantia!”
A blinding flash of light emerged
from his hand, then, suddenly, a massive figure appeared, and began charging at
the men at an alarming rate. It was a rhinoceros. Several men were quick enough
to dodge it. The others weren’t. The collapsed to the ground, some only half of
their bodies remaining. Content with how useful this new spell was, he brushed
some dust off his shoulder and continued walking. He heard footsteps continuing
to track him. Sighing once again, he turned around and said “In the name of
Dread! I just wiped out most of your damn team! And you amateurs think you can
take me? P-lease! Tell you what, pretend to drop to the ground, and we’ll call
it even ok? Just, well, die. Not too hard is it? Ok, I have some stuff to do.
Bye now.” Seeing the shocked and angry looks on the men’s faces, he sighed and
thought of what spell to use. He did have one final spell that was extremely
fun to use, but he had just made it and hadn’t even tried it yet…The results
could be disastrous. Ah, what the hell, he said to himself. Rolling up
his sleeves completely, he said, “Polymorphium Poisizatium Finalum,” and suddenly, a
bolt of pain erupted from his two arms, falling to the ground, he looked at his
arms, only, they weren’t arms any more. One was growing longer, thinner, greener.
The other was only getting slightly bigger, ending with a massive and menacing
curve. Getting up, he looked at the men’s faces. They had faces of pure horror,
and he wished that he had time to cast a picture of them. Looking at what used
to be his arms, he was satisfied. In a scream of effort, he lunged one of his
appendages at one of the men. The mouth grabbed him, and flung him
several yards in back of him. The snake’s head and body recoiled back, circling
itself around his waist. Only two remained. He shot out the other arm, and the
hook caught the man’s Adam’s apple, ripping it out, and cutting his face
squarely in two. It was not a pretty sight at all. He collapsed, almost
decapitated, acid dripping from the cut. The scorpion’s tail came back to him,
and he looked at both of them, content at such a devastating and powerful spell
he had made. The final man, collapsed on the floor, traumatized after seeing
the death of all his comrades. They were all dead except him, or so he thought.
As he approached the man on the floor, he suddenly yelled in pain. Then,
another flash of blinding pain, then blackness. He fell to the floor, the
scorpion and snake head retreating, turning back into his regular arms. His
final thought was that how the man must have survived being bit by a gigantic snake
and thrown that far…








“I can’t
believe it. I just can’t. I-””Hogar, please listen to m-” “HELL NO, I WILL NOT
LISTEN TO YOU!” yelled Hog, almost in a fit of tears, “I abandon the town I
loved, my friend was imprisoned and killed by you people for no reason, and now
you’re asking me if he’s alive? Who the hell do you think you
are?” Sandarus sat down on the dirt near the fire, and sighed. There was no
point in talking to this man. He obviously was sure that Zuthis was dead.
“Look, I’m sorry about your friend’s death a-” “Psh,” interrupted Hog, “Don’t
give me any of that. You don’t care at all. You damn royals are all the same.
Well, I was there when Zuthis killed the prince. It wasn’t his fault. Just
leave me alone. You have your answer. The ‘prisoner’ is damn sure dead as far
as I know. Unless he just walked out of the prison, then went back in, killed
himself, then walked back out.” Sighing and putting his heads in his hands,
Hogar obviously did not want to be bothered or questioned any more. Sandarus
didn’t know what in the world to do. Either way, he had all the information he
needed. The prisoner was dead. He couldn’t have killed Falcun. He was ready to
start his long and torturous trip back to Dreadnar, then he stopped. I'd I
return there, I’m as good as dead,
he thought to himself, I’ve been
charged for the murder of that damned prisoner, something I hope to god this
man doesn’t find out, and my brother-in-law is dead. I have nothing to return
to.
“I’m leaving. Getting as far away as I can from you damned pompous sons
of a-” “I’m coming with you,” blurted out Sandarus, before he could stop
himself. “What?” said Hog, starting to laugh. “Well, yes. You see I’m
kind of…a criminal.” At this point, Sandarus stopped, and looked at the man. He
was bent over, red in the face. Sandarus rushed over to him, only to see that
he was laughing. In fact, he was laughing so hard, Sandarus was actually afraid
that this lunatic would have a heart attack. He tried to do everything possible,
but the man wouldn’t stop damn laughing. Angry, Sandarus kicked the man- hard
-but he just kept laughing. Frustrated, Sandarus picked up his bag and stalked
off into the jungle. He could hear the man’s laughing echoing through the
jungle.





When Hog
got up, red as a cherry, he discovered that the man was gone. “What the hell?”
he said to himself, looking around. He really was gone. Shrugging his shoulders
and packing up his things, he thought about what the man had asked. Zuthis
still alive? What in the name of Dread was he talking about? A wave of anger
suddenly washed over him, and he punched a tree, hard. Rather than giving him
the he wished for, the tree was the one that felt it. It toppled over, the mark
where Hog had hit it quite evident, looking at him, saying, Zuthis is dead.
You have to kill me too?
Infuriated, he picked up his bag, and headed in a
direction, then turned around, and headed the right way.





Sandarus
emerged onto the path, and froze. “What the hell is that?” he said to himself.
A number of black figures were on the ground, though it was hard to describe
what exactly they were from this distance. Slowly continuing, he put his hand
on the hilt of his sword. From experience, you never know what to expect. When
he got there, he gasped. The figures were bodies. Not just three or four
like the before, but a stunning twenty were on the floor. “What in the
world happened?” murmured Sandarus. He checked the bodies. They were not
looted. Picking up some money from one of them, he noticed the man had no head.
Or, rather, his head was cut straight down the middle, separating it. The gash
was ugly. What the hell could have caused that? No normal sword, as far as
Sandarus knew. Then, he saw something strange. A glowing, eerie dagger was on
the floor. Inspecting it closely, Sandarus saw, to his horror, that it was made
of human bone. He reached for it, then, suddenly, his hand erupted with pain.
Snatching it away, he looked down at the dagger. He suddenly smelled burned
flesh, then noticed it was his own. The part that had touched the dagger had
been almost completely taken off, and, if it wasn’t for his gloves, he probably
would be seeing his own bones right about now. Not knowing what to do, Sandarus
moved around the dagger, thinking. He was no mage, hell, he could barely make
something go two inches off the ground. He removed a cloth from his pack.
Taking the hilt of hit sword, he quickly flipped the dagger over the cloth,
before the hilt could take any damage. Satisfied, he picked up the cloth. “Strange…”
he murmured. The cloth felt a lot lighter then he would have expected it to be.
Turning around and looking at the cloth, he realized- to his great frustration -that
the dagger had burnt straight through the cloth. Inspecting the cloth, he found
the large whole where it had burned through. Frustrated, he threw the cloth
into the jungle, where it fluttered harmlessly to the ground, not to be found
for many years to come. He looked down, and, he almost laughed. The place where
the dagger had previously been had a massive whole in it. If I leave this
damn thing here,
said Sandarus, when I come back, they’ll be a five-foot
pot-whole in the middle of the damned road!
He couldn’t just leave it
there. At a loss, Sandarus sat down next to the dagger, eyes trying to bore
into it, discover what in the name of Dread it was doing there. The problem
was, Sandarus noticed with a shudder, the dagger seemed to be staring back at
him. Downright spooked, Sandarus ran back towards the jungle, calling Hogar’s
name with a voice that was a little too frightened and shrill for an Elite
Guard Captain to have.


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Number of posts : 113
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Re: Featured Novel: The Shadow Channeler | Chapter 27 ('Just a simple uber w00t shall do it :)') | 03/08/08 | Rated 5 Stars

Post by Digger412 on Fri Apr 18, 2008 1:37 am

It's good. I wonder what happened to that guy who was casting all the spells...Finished the editing. I sent you chapter 1 also, tell me what you think.

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Re: Featured Novel: The Shadow Channeler | Chapter 27 ('Just a simple uber w00t shall do it :)') | 03/08/08 | Rated 5 Stars

Post by kamokronos on Fri Apr 18, 2008 2:22 am

Chapter 13? Wow, I don't think I've even read 9...I'm too tired! And I'm loaded with homework and Jazzband has a performance this Saturday Sad. I'm too busy...

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Re: Featured Novel: The Shadow Channeler | Chapter 27 ('Just a simple uber w00t shall do it :)') | 03/08/08 | Rated 5 Stars

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